Tesseract, First Movement

Been in limbo for a few days. Client site, out in the wastelands between here and Ottawa. I'd call it a town, but it's a glorified goddamn intersection. Forget sheesha, nowhere to get a decent drink even. Bland, cheerless hotel staff.

Soul crushing fucking place. My one pack a month pact didn't last. Not two nights at that motel and I was already half a pack down. Three weeks down and six packs in. What a fucking waste.

Back in the city now, at least. Back five days ago. No cigs since coming back, but made up for that with a nightcap of Ouzo. Or three. Or five. Five hours of sleep and a nail-to-eyes hangover four days running. Actually sober today. Had to look non-red-eyed for the presentation this morning. The fruits of my three weeks of labour in hicksville, ontario.

~

Called the lizard a few times when I was over there. Picked up once. Click. Called again. Disconnected. Last time I called him there was that "no longer in service" message.

The lizard going offline didn't catch, so I called Maya after. Not over the phone, she said. Not now, she said. See me when you come back to civilization, she said.

I went by the Lizard's hideout first thing after I came back. Might have been a little tipsy. Fucking nerves. He wasn't there. Checked the used bookstore a few doors past - off chance he'd be there chatting up some hipsters. Old wooden shelves, old tubelights, creaking hardwood floor, creaking wooden stairs. It was the lizard's kind of place.

No luck. But the girl at the counter looked familiar. Kohl dark eyes. Single red bangle, left wrist.

And....no, trick of the light. And I was fucking tipsy. And she was hot, in a dark, mysterious broody kind of way. Like a calmer version of Maya, I guess.

Trick of the light. No sword, no wings, no eyes, no teeth, no hammer and no necklace of chattering skulls.

Trick. Bad lighting. Creaking wood. Heavy ambiance. Too much to drink.

Must've been it. Must've been.

~

Called Maya after, Told her I'd been by the lizard's, told her he wasn't there. Told her I was tired and fucking seeing things again.

Go home, she told me. Go home, wait for me, okay?

I said yes. Yes, I said. I'm so tired, I'm so tired.

~

She came.

But something had gone wrong when I was away. Her eyes were....her hands were...

I have to see her again, tonight.

~

I prayed for angels, in my time away, in my brief exile to fucking hicktown. I prayed for angels, but I didn't know it would be her.

By her eyes and her hands and her wings...she'll keep me safe from another bad winter, I know that much. Trust in her that  much.

It's what happens after winter that I'm worried about.